Growing Up - I

The Teens...


From the gentle caring shadow of a mother or a doting father it was a gradual movement away into an alien environment. We had all seen the power, the strength that was wielded by the elders and this had nurtured the desire within each to grow up and be like them.


And yet what was happening was all too different. Unable to understand, we had come face to face with uncertainty for the first time in our lives. And we had not yet learnt to cope.


The fear was stark - it was a period of raw vulnerability.


For some who had the strength of an emotional security handed down through generations it was easier. For the system of values was almost a 'kavaj' - an armor.


Almost....It was easier, yes, but the uncertainty still had to be faced......




                            NOSTALGIA


The long walks
Alone.
Hunched in a greatcoat  
Against the cold.


Learning to be alone
In an adolescent wilderness
Without adolescents.


Learning in those years
To be with myself.


Moments of searing loneliness
Shared
During those walks 
With the deep blue sky, the stars,
The waxing moon,
And the echoing footsteps
On dimly lit streets.


The beginning of a communion
Which was to last almost a lifetime.


Coming to know the music
Subtle, haunting,
With a will-o'-the-wisp presence;
And the slow blending into it
Of the skies, the stars, the moon
And echoing footsteps,
Weaving an invisible fabric
Of peace, tranquility and harmony.


Never realizing the gentle, quiet threads
Invisible in their incandescence
Which flowed into me from the two brightest stars
In my galaxy: 
Loving, protective, encouraging
Nurturing 
And letting me grow up into my own self.  








Photo: Courtesy - Night Colours by Rasins