Impregnable Castles....

The bonding that exists between the inseparable twins : pain or hurt and our reaction to it is ironical; 

Be it in relationships or the different situations that we face as we live each moment, this hurt or pain gives birth to the reaction - an unreasoning fear. 

We never want or wish to experience that pain, that hurt again.

And our innate inventiveness builds the defenses, the armor to protect us. 

And unknown to us, each such moment, each defense, takes us a step further away from each other and ourselves:

FEAR - the illusion

     
The birthing,
It was a reminder
To continue my journey
Into myself.

          *            *            *

Quote:
"Before my highest mountain stand I
And before my longest journey
Therefore
Must I first descend 
Deeper
Than ever I descended."

           *              *             *

The destination: 
Myself.
Hazy and unclear 
As if far in the distance.

And yet in an undefined way
A clarity, a sense of certainty
Within, 
Of where my destiny lies.
Myriad paths lead away 
From where I stand
And many reach where I want to go
And as with many
The way is as yet not clear.

Intuitively I realize:
The first step is not the path,
The path is not the journey
The journey is not the destination.
And yet where I want to go
All becomes One.

           *            *            *

In my journeys
I have seen it:
The deep, placid lake
Nestling within the green mountains.
A sea of twinkling emeralds 
Each priceless in its ability
To free me
From
And for myself.

A scaring ability
For me as I am.

For unshackled and unfettered,
Without protection,
I will stand
As naked and without defense
As a newborn
Without a mother.

And in my life where I stand today
It is I,
To protect myself
Who built these impregnable castles.
                          Can I then, so easily, 
                          Give them up?

                          Yet
                          To be what I want to be,
                          To do what I want to do,
                          To be one with myself
                           It has to be so.

As I slowly wade 
Into the sea of emeralds
The fears for and of myself
Melt away
Dissolving the need
For impregnable castles.

It is a moment of freedom,
Unknown, 
Never experienced or imagined.

                            And in that freedom
                            Yet unsure of the path
                            I take
                            My first step towards myself.